A Valley News Publication

A Six Flags amusement park in Eureka, Mo., has announced it is holding a “coffin challenge,” inviting people to be locked in a coffin for 30 hours for the chance to score some prizes. How fun!!! /s

Yes, that’s right. The “Fright Fest 30-Hour Coffin Challenge” will take place on Saturday, Oct. 13. According to a report by Fox 4 News, those who last the longest being locked in the coffins could win an assortment of things that don’t even come close to making up for the trauma that likely would result from being trapped in a coffin for 30 hours straight. Those prizes include:

Two 2019 Gold Season Passes, a Fright Fest prize package, two VIP Haunted House passes and a ticket for two to ride the Freak Train for Freak Unleashed. The winner will also be entered in a drawing for a $300 prize.

Six Flags will be providing six “deluxe” 2-foot by 7-foot coffins as well as “meals, snacks and drinks in bed” (and by bed, they mean coffin). They’ll also generously offer a six-minute bathroom break every hour.

Oh, and did I mention the coffins are PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED (???) (Six Flags says they’re “slightly used.” I don’t even wanna know what that means, tbh.)

Y’all, I’m not even claustrophobic, but I’m saying it’s a hard pass on this one. I don’t care what the prize is. I’d do a lot of things for a Klondike bar, and I would do anything for love, but like Meatloaf said, I won’t do that.