A Valley News Publication

Please enjoy this riveting mystery about a stolen lunch

Anyone who works in an office will relate to this so. hard. You don’t mess around with your co-workers’ lunches.

On Friday, Twitter user @ZakToscani tweeted out a play-by-play of what happened when one of his colleagues discovered his lunch had been taken out of the fridge at the post-production company where they work.

This story is a roller coaster, y’all. It has twists and turns, generous portions of shrimp fried rice, and is generally amazing. (Click the tweet to read the full thread.)

People were quick to chime in with their own tales of corporate food weirdness.

(Full disclosure: I laughed out loud at the carrot one.)

Happy Friday!

Lost in translation: Google Translate fail results in 15,000-egg delivery for Norwegian Olympic team

It hurts when Google burns you. Who can you trust if you can’t trust the internet?!

NBC Washington reports the chefs for Norway’s Olympic team recently tried to place an order for eggs for their athletes, but weren’t sure how to say what they needed in Korean. (As you know, the winter games are being held in PyeongChang, South Korea.) Before placing their order with a Korean grocery store, the chefs turned to Google Translate for help.

What they didn’t know was that, in Korean, ONE SYLLABLE is the difference between 1,500 eggs and 15,000 eggs. You know the rest.

“There was literally no end to the delivery. Absolutely unbelievable,” chef Ståle Johansen told Norway’s Aftenposten.

Fortunately, the chefs were able to return the extra 13,500 eggs (a good thing, because too many eggs can make a person crack. I’ll see myself out), but said the athletes should expect to see a looooot of protein on the menu.

Maine leads crusade to get lobster emoji, claws itself to victory

After months of effort, Maine’s hard work has paid off: A lobster will be among the latest batch of emoji, coming soon to a smartphone near you.

Sen. Angus King, I-Maine, made the announcement on Wednesday via Twitter, and his excitement was palpable.

Maine, led in this case by King, for months has been pleading its case to the Unicode Consortium, aka the Emoji Boss, asking for a lobster emoji. The organization announced on Wednesday that the next round of new emoji will include “images like a ‘hot face,’ a pirate flag, a mosquito, and, yes, a lobster,” according to Boston Magazine.

This past September, King sent a letter to the organization, making a detailed case for an official lobster emoji. In it, he cites the animal’s cultural significance, its role in the Maine economy, and the demand for the lobster image as demonstrated by Google searches and use of the hashtag #NoLobsterEmoji. “A new lobster emoji would fill a necessary and unique void in the current Emoji List, and, should it be added, appears destined for significant usage by lobster fans around the world,” he wrote. “Neither the existing crab nor shrimp emoji can be effectively used to represent a lobster, which has a distinctively different profile.”

A petition had also been circulated on Change.org calling for the lobster’s addition to the emoji canon, which garnered more than 5,000 signatures.

The emoji is due to arrive later this year.


Hey, Upper Valley residents: Don’t eat Tide Pods.

I shouldn’t even have to write this, but as ~an avid internet reader~, I feel it’s my obligation. So listen up, kids, because I’m only gonna say this once.

I don’t care how delicious they look, or how much they resemble candy (questionable, tbh). I’m just gonna quote Mean Girls here: Don’t eat Tide Pods, because you will get sick and die. (OK, I modified the original quote a little.)

I’m serious, you guys. That ish is toxic. The only place laundry detergent belongs is in your washing machine, not in your stomach.

Really. Don’t do it.

Don’t do it, even though the internet sent you mixed messages and told you to do it and now is telling you not to do it. Don’t. Full stop.

Do not take the Nike approach and “Just Do It.” Don’t do later — don’t do it at all.

Do not pass go, do not collect $200, do not eat a goddamn Tide Pod.