A Valley News Publication

Please enjoy this riveting mystery about a stolen lunch

Anyone who works in an office will relate to this so. hard. You don’t mess around with your co-workers’ lunches.

On Friday, Twitter user @ZakToscani tweeted out a play-by-play of what happened when one of his colleagues discovered his lunch had been taken out of the fridge at the post-production company where they work.

This story is a roller coaster, y’all. It has twists and turns, generous portions of shrimp fried rice, and is generally amazing. (Click the tweet to read the full thread.)

People were quick to chime in with their own tales of corporate food weirdness.

(Full disclosure: I laughed out loud at the carrot one.)

Happy Friday!

CNN’s Jake Tapper just dropped knowledge about a Robert Frost poem

CNN journalist and Dartmouth grad Jake Tapper took to Twitter on Wednesday to offer some insight into The Road Not Taken, a poem by Robert Frost, who spent part of his life living in New Hampshire and also attended Dartmouth for a v short time.

The vast majority of replies to Tapper’s tweet seemed to indicate minds were blown by the anchor’s analysis.

I don’t know why I’m wasting my time as a journalist when I could be getting paid to translate emoji*

Don’t tell me it’s not a real job, MOM. *points to photo*

The timing of this tweet is fitting, considering last night I replied on Twitter to a DJ who asked his followers what the meaning of the ? emoji was. (I told him I always thought of it as a visual “hrmph!” or indication of being in a huff, but apparently it is meant to represent a triumphant or proud person with air coming out of their nose to indicate said triumph/pride, according to Google. Could have used an assist from Broni on that one, tbh.)

*Disclaimer: I’m totally kidding. I love what I do, and I can’t imagine doing anything else.

Donald Trump’s Twitter page vanished for a few minutes, and the internet lost it

President Donald Trump’s infamous Twitter account mysteriously disappeared briefly on Thursday evening, and the internet quickly took notice.
Admittedly, when I saw the first few tweets re: the account’s disappearance, I had no idea what they were in reference to. I’m shocked by how quickly — and how many — people realized the page was gone.

Tweets on my own timeline indicated the account was down anywhere from 30 seconds to two minutes, but Twitter’s government account (who knew that was a thing?) tweeted a statement later Wednesday addressing the situation:

2017 is so weird, y’all.

UPDATE: Reports say the deactivation was deliberate — specifically, the account was deactivated by a Twitter employee on their last day at the company. Dang.

Reactions to that news also was swift:


Read this bonkers story about a guy who is almost definitely being haunted by a not-so-friendly ghost

This is probably one of the craziest, freakiest things I’ve ever read. Buckle up, because IT IS A ROLLER COASTER, y’all.

New York illustrator Adam Ellis’ Twitter account has taken social media by storm in recent days. Since early August, Ellis has been tweeting about the supernatural experiences he’s been having in and near his apartment, all of which seem to involve a ghostly being named “Dear David.” Things have only continued to escalate, and Ellis’ attempts to rid himself of the apparent spirit seem to have backfired in a major way.

“So move out, Adam!” you scream at this webpage.

Welp, as much as he’d love to, things have gotten so weird that Ellis is afraid the spirit will follow him if he moves out. People in his replies and mentions seem to agree that at this point, the ghost likely is attached to him, not his apartment.

But I’ll let him tell the whole story.

To help get you up to speed, Ellis has compiled the bulk of his tweets, photos and videos into a Storify (below). But for the FULL experience, head over to his Twitter and scroll down to around Aug. 16, which is where the Storify drops off, and read the tweets and watch the videos. (You’ve been warned. Ish is insane.)

Pro tip: Don’t read this at night, esp if you actually wanna go to sleep afterward. (FTR, I read it first thing in the morning, and the hair on the back of my neck still stood on edge when I watched his most recent videos. Again, you’ve been warned.)